woman speaking at funeral

Heartfelt Words: What to Say at a Funeral

When someone we love dies, we want to say the perfect thing. We want to honor their life and make them proud. This can be especially difficult when it comes to crafting a eulogy and knowing what to say at a funeral. What do you say when there are no words? How do you sum up a person’s life in just a few minutes? In this blog post, we will provide tips and advice for writing the perfect eulogy, speaking to the deceased’s family, and remembering your loved one.

Deciding What to Say at a Funeral Service

Giving a funeral speech can be both an honor and a privilege, but it can also be a great challenge. To craft a touching and meaningful tribute to the deceased, it’s important to take some time to reflect on memories of them and put together what you want to say ahead of time.

It’s helpful to organize your thoughts into segments reflecting who the person was and why they mattered, as well as how their absence will affect those whom they left behind. Speaking slowly and clearly with love and honesty will ensure your words pay tribute to their life in a sincere way that is bound to bring comfort to those mourning.

Write out what you want to say ahead of time. This way, even if you’re overcome with emotions while you’re talking, you can remember what you want to say.

Writing Out What to Say at a Funeral Speech

Writing a funeral speech can be a daunting task. The best way to start is by focusing on the positive: happy moments you shared with the person who died as well as other fond memories you have of them. A funeral speech should aim at honoring and celebrating the life of the person who has passed away. It doesn’t need to be long or too detailed, as there are other elements in the service where other people will also have their moments to pay tribute.

Be respectful and focus your words on love, fellowship, and appreciation for all that this individual meant to their family and friends. Let your words bring comfort rather than grief. Reflecting on the life lived, meaningful achievements, favorite hobbies, and so on can help lighten the sorrowful mood.

What to Say at a Funeral Speech for a Friend

Friends can feel just as special as family. When a friend dies, it’s important to take time to grieve, even if we weren’t related to them. Honoring their life and the memories that their family and other friends will always have of them is an essential part of navigating the loss. One way to do that is to give a funeral speech for your friend.

In your speech, focus on all the positive attributes that made this person unique and beloved by those who knew them. It’s also important to share stories about the departed, whether they were funny or touching, or both. These stories speak volumes about why the person was so well-loved by the people in attendance. They show how our deceased friend will live on in our hearts forever.

While you likely have many friends, highlight what made this one person so special to you. You can think of the speech as a way to help others view the deceased the same way you did.

What to Say at a Funeral Eulogy

When expressing your thoughts and memories in a eulogy, think about meaningful stories that honor the life of the person you are remembering. Be thoughtful and respectful, allowing yourself to take breaks if needed. Remember to be kind to yourself. It is hard enough to speak in front of a crowd even in the best of situations. When you’re standing up there because someone has died, it can be even harder.

There is no set length or structure to a eulogy. You can include:

  • A quote that reminds you of the deceased, or a quote they loved
  • Song lyrics that capture the person’s essence
  • A memory of you and the person
  • A special poem that reminds you of them

Some people like to play the deceased’s favorite song or even sing it at the funeral in honor of them.

What to Say to Family at a Funeral

When speaking with someone who has lost a loved one, there are many things you can say. Some typical condolences include “I’m sorry for your loss” or “I am here for you.” You could also offer words of support such as “Please let me know if you need anything” or “Is there anything I can do to help at this time?”

You might even mention to the family how important they were to the deceased. For example, if the person always spoke highly of their daughter, you can tell her that when you see her.

Often, just being present and checking in on the family can make a world of difference in their grieving process. Although your words may not take away the pain of losing someone, they can show that you are thinking of them during this difficult time.

What to Say at a Funeral Visitation

A funeral visitation takes place before the funeral, often just a few hours before the service starts. During the visitation, you can console the family, share memories of the deceased, and simply be there to listen. Visitors often share fond memories of the departed and talk about their life milestones. It is also proper etiquette to reach out with a card, flowers, or words of support either before or after the visitation.

Sympathy cards

Sympathy cards are a kind gesture that can express your condolences during this difficult time. Whether you craft a heartfelt message, share a favorite religious verse, or simply express your love and compassion, these words of kindness can provide solace to the surviving family members.


Sympathy flowers like white lilies are always a thoughtful choice, as they are beautiful reminders of life. You can also give the family something meaningful that celebrates the life of the deceased. Consider framed pictures, personalized items, or even something as simple as a favorite food item.


There isn’t just one way to give a speech at a funeral or express your condolences when someone dies. The right words come from the heart and honor the deceased. Instead of stressing about what to say at a funeral, focus on processing your feelings and you’ll find the right words come. Look to spiritual scripture, friends, and family for support.

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